Sex coaching is similar to sex therapy with some important differences. The main one is that as a sex coach I focus on the present and on future outcomes; addressing the what rather than the why of a person’s state or situation; rather than dwelling on past events or on processing emotions from them.
Sex coaching is co-active and empowering. Rather than me trying to “fix” you, I recognise that you are responsible for your self and assist you to actualise the goals you have in the sexual arena. As a sex coach, I focus on your goals and their practical realisation – where you want to be – rather than focussing on what may not be working right now.
“The sex coaching approach is a deep, powerful, meaningful and efficient path for working with a wide range of sexological clinical concerns” – Dr. Patti Britton, author of The Art of Sex Coaching.
I use techniques from a variety of disciplines, relying on a thorough grounding in clinical sexology. To get at what is blocking a client from achieving their sexual goals I usually use a combination of personalised sex education, counselling, life coaching and the application of shamanic models as appropriate.
You will also be given home assignments as part of a dynamic action plan to consolidate and deepen your understanding of new ways of expressing yourself.
Why would I see a sex coach?
+ Concerns about body image / size
+ Painful intercourse
+ Learning sexual anatomy & new ways to pleasure a partner
+ Orgasmic frequency e.g. too quick, too slow or not at all
+ Levels of sexual arousal that are experienced as being too low or too high
+ Feeling inexperienced or inadequate
+ Understanding particular sexual fantasies or practices
+ Adapting before / after / during a sex change process
+ Masturbation coaching
+ Concerns over use of pornography
I was feeling stuck in patterns of behaviour that had been running for years and that I felt powerless to change. It felt pretty scary to look at who I was sexually but I felt immediately safe in Kian’s grounded presence and his completely non-judgemental attitude put me at ease.
Kian’s intuitive response to my needs and ability to provide clear mirrors in which I can see my behavior more clearly have been instrumental in my continued forward movement. It has been, and continues to be, the greatest investment I have made in myself. I would highly recommend him.
L. J., Psychotherapist
Do I need to visit in person?
Sex coaching sessions can take place in person or remotely over the telephone or Skype.
Sex Coaching Questionnaire
I invite you to fill in a form in advance, both to help focus you on your concerns and for my benefit.
Please download this Sexual History Questionnaire, complete as much as is relevant to you and return to me.
Do I have to take my clothes off?
No – bodywork may be offered if appropriate to your particular situation but it is not a necessary element of sex coaching.
How often would I have appointments? And for how long?
Unlike psychotherapy, sex coaching is often a short-term process. Some concerns may benefit from long term treatment but in general I use intensive coaching of weekly one-hour sessions, for a period of a few months.
I charge £110 per hour in Devon and £150 in London. Sessions typically vary in length from 1 to 3 hours.
If you cannot make your appointment I ask for 72 hours advance notice. Missed appointments not cancelled or rescheduled within this time incur a 50% charge.